My Connection To This Place

My time is almost up here, for this Alaska salmon season, 2017.

Last week I drove "out the road" for a dinner picnic on a non-rainy day, since we have not had many of those. It is so gorgeous out there and it's where I always seem to find Moose. Last time I went there, I had 2 Moose jump right next to my car, then scramble and gallop back into the woods.

That night I was discussing with my friend why we keep coming back to this place, Cordova, Alaska, year after year and what it means to us.

My natal planet Venus, the planet of love and connection, beauty and what you value, is in the sign of Cancer, the sign of the home and family, sensitivity and compassionate caring. This Venus in Cancer sits in my 11th house, the house of your community, your aspirations and goals, your hopes and dreams and your tribe.

If you put these all together, with my Taurus Sun that loves nature, trees, the ocean, animals, flowers, rivers and mountains, to name but a few, in the 10th House of mission in life and career, you can see why I would be drawn to this place.

One of the unique aspects about coming here is the connection I feel with every other person that's here. It's because no matter what job we do, we all fall under the umbrella of "Fish."
Whether you work on a boat, in the marine store, at the bank or you are a handful of Copper River Net Menders such as myself, we are all connected together.
That's why I feel the love of this place so strongly; (Venus in Cancer in the 11th house)

I have lived in a small town and valley for well over 30+ years and Winthrop, Washington has connective-ness too. It's just different. It connects based on recreation and tourism, which has grown a lot over the years while still keeping its small town feel.  

So I understand what benefits these connections provide. 

But there is just something about this place that pulls on my heart strings a bit. Even though in the past 5 years that I've been back, this year was by far the most challenging.

A cold and blustery day

First off, coming here after 2 separate knee replacement surgeries last fall and winter has been difficult and humbling to say the least; but I made it work anyway. The scary part was the first 2 weeks of walking down the ramp at low tide. It's so much better now. And mending was never the issue, it was the walking.

Secondly, working in the wind and rain almost every single net job pressed my endurance level to the max but I still managed to appreciate my job out there and be happy doing it. Of the 5 seasons I've been back, this was by far the rainiest. I know the locals will tell you that this year it was just normal rainfall and the previous 4 seasons were unusually sunny. If I had an inside job, it would be a non-issue, but I don't.

And thirdly, the salmon season started off slow and continued so. We lost a longtime fisherman to the sea, a boat capsized and a local family lost a son on shore. Fishermen were allotted minimal time to fish and this season many gill-net boats left town to fish across Prince William Sound so it kinda feels a bit empty without the fleet nearby.

Dinner view

This job is like an addiction to me and I always want to do it whenever I get the chance. It's meditative, it keeps me in the present moment. It challenges me to make decisions on the spot and be responsible to the consequences of those decisions. It highlights something I'm good at, that I'm fast at. I get to work with my hands, it's like knitting, only dirtier.

It allows me to listen to the bald eagles chirping overhead, the seagulls calling and I can hang out with any podcast, book on tape, Steven Forrest talk, playlist for the season or just the activities on the dock. It's silent and it's social all rolled up into one. Many times I wish it wasn't seasonal because I would love to do it for more months than I do. 

With all these challenges of this season, I still feel drawn to this place, even as I exit early in a couple short days. I'm grateful for a friend's open arms to let me stay with her and I have enjoyed getting to know my new roommate. Overall, even though the season was hard for all of us, we learned some valuable lessons that we can incorporate into our everyday lives forever.

Cordova, Alaska speaks to my Venus in Cancer in the 11th house. And I'm glad it does.

Cancer Season

I’ve got to say that I have never been fond of the name of this astrological sign, Cancer.
For it’s obvious negative connotations.

I think the folks with a Cancer Sun sign got ripped off a little bit. But so be it, I guess it’s what we’ve got to work with, so lets begin...

Cancer is a water sign with cardinal power.
In English, this means that they are initiators and movers and shakers but “go with the flow” kind of people. This description seems to collide together, don’t you think?
I mean, how can you be a domineering and energetically spirited person but be sensitive, easy going and a nurturer too?

As my mentor and teacher,  Steven Forrest would say: 'Refrain your confusion as understanding.'
So let’s do that!

Cancer Sun sign people have come here to learn how to deal with their heightened sensitivity. Their archetype is the crab or the turtle. Someone whose meat is so sensitive and delicate that they need a hard shell around them in order to survive; to hide from predators, the environment and other creatures.

Cardinal power is about having vim and vigor, enthusiasm and ambition. A cardinal sign is not inclined to give up or back down. They are great at starting projects, single-mindedness and staying focused. They are clever, intelligent and sharp.

Cancer power is all about learning how to live here with a concentrated awareness level. How can they become compassionate, caring, sympathetic and warm-hearted while feeling exposed to the elements? It sounds like they could have some fear around doing that, doesn’t it?

A Cancer Sun does this by protecting their energy, such as being a homebody, or at the very least they make everywhere they go, feel like home. This way, they keep their feelings of security intact, while subsisting in the world. They are also viewed as the great mother.

They are loyal to a fault. They wear their emotions on their sleeves and every other place too.

They have great persuasive tendencies, it’s healing for them to live by the water and just like any good mother, whether they are male or female, they enjoy cooking and hosting in the company of their loving family and close friends.

When a Cancer feels persecuted or ganged up on, they will either retreat to their shell by becoming moody, pessimistic or insecure. And if this doesn’t work to get them out of their jam, they will physically, mentally and/or emotionally remove themselves from the injustice that they believe is pursuing them.

They can feel suspicious of new people who’ve entered their life until they have gotten to know them better.

A Cancer Sun feels as if they were put on the world to help others heal. They devote much of their time and energy toward giving, giving and some more giving, but they are not very good at receiving.

Even though they come across as a devoted and kind person, they are one of the hardest astrology signs to actually get to know at a deep level.

This is because they frequently retreat into their shell of security so as not to feel the cruelty of the world.

Their deeply intuitive nature and sentimental heart can be a plus or a minus depending on how well they are open and willing to process psychic sensitivity. And how easily they can release other people’s emotional stuff.

Sometimes they have a difficult time blending in with the world, their community or their country.

Cancer Sun children must learn coping skills as they grow up and defense mechanisms during their upbringing. Adults must handle them with the utmost love, care and understanding in order for the Cancer child to trust life enough to bloom.

Since Cancer Sun’s are quick to avoid any sort of conflict, they must try and practice compassionate debate; otherwise they will not be inclined to stay around long enough to have their point of view heard. Instead, they will withdraw again back into that pesky shell.

Cancer Sun signs remind me of the Momma Bear; majestic, dignified, stunning, regal, and beautiful beings.
Just do NOT step between Momma Bear and her cubs or you will get an ass whuppin.
 

The Emotional Moon

In Astrology, we view the Moon as one of the 10 planets we work with, even though it's technically not a planet.

We all have some understanding of what the Moon symbolizes; the tides of change, the timing of the menstral cycles, heightened and charged emotions during the full Moon and planting seeds during a new Moon.

But what else does the Moon symbolize?

Your Moon sign is your heart and soul, it's what we have to get right in order to be happy. If you have a Sagittarius Moon, you better get traveling and experiencing all that life has to offer. If your Moon sign is in Libra, you feel inclined to connect with others as well as surround yourself with art, music and beauty.

The Moon is not even remotely rational, it's emotional and it's charged.
And I discovered this today.

This morning the Moon was in fiery Aries, highlighting assertive/aggressive thoughts and actions, stress, trauma and passionate energy. And being courageous.
It was in the 8th house of transformation, death and rebirth. And deep psychological intensity.
It was in a difficult aspect to Pluto, the planet of wounds, power struggles and what you are just now ready to see, that you may have been suppressing for years.

At this particular time I was having a conversation with someone that I do not know well but I had every intention of helping them to see another way, a positive way for their future.  As I write this, it kinda sounds like a Bob Marley song, doesn't it? haha.

I was having what I thought was a rational discussion based on the subject broached by them to me and my intention was to help them. 
Almost out of the blue, their emotions escalated off the chart. It was like a fire ignited and the whole place was ablaze.
I watched this take off, amazed at the energy of the thing, as they got up, walked away saying, (well maybe yelling?) that they did not need to listen to me judging them and did not appreciate my perspective. Period.

I must say that after the initial shock of witnessing this, I did some soul searching to determine if I was way off base in my presentation style.

I guess I came on too strong for them at this moment in time.

What I know for sure is that my intention was to help someone get through a hard time that they have been struggling with for awhile. I did not bring up the subject, so I thought they were asking me for advice. But I see now that my contribution and perspective was not wanted, appreciated or needed and was actually viewed as aggressive and confrontative. 

Oh well, we all make mistakes in judgment, thinking someone is saying or thinking something they are not. And even though you might be on the outside looking in, you cannot know someone else's truth. I learned that today.

The fiery, don't mess with me or I'll hurt you transiting Aries Moon today was not having any of my Virgo Moon analyzing perspective, no matter how much I tried to connect with them today. Maybe I was doing my Virgo Moon shadow; criticizing, even if it was unintentional, wagging my finger psychically that they were not being perfect enough and putting them on the defense before I knew it?

I learned a valuable lesson today. Don't try to help someone without permission to do so. Don't give advice unless you know for 100% certain that they asked you for it.

Just chill out and let everyone evolve in their own time frame, not in mine. 
 

Drama and Trauma with a Capital DT

Although it might seem that I am talking about our current U.S. president DT, I'm actually not, for once.

Most of my friends know this story, but I thought I would write about it today, to show you what happened in my life when I had a powerful Pluto-Venus aspect in my astrology chart. Specifically an opposition and a tense square aspect.

A relationship was being tested in some deep way and it turned out to be with my only sibling.

On November 30, 2011, My brother Jack, who was going out for a sports fishing day on his favorite river, must have slipped on an icy rock and fell into the Skagit River, drowning. I was home alone that night when I received a message at 12:30 am, stating that he was missing. I instantly felt my body temperature plummet, and I literally ran down the hall to a hot shower as I felt myself going into shock.
I could not get in contact with my husband Dale, as he was in Canada skiing and back then we were without international cell service. Luckily our daughter Chani was on Skype in Australia and helped me get through the night.

Two days later, a helicopter search discovered him lying under 12 feet of water, sunglasses and croakies still attached, only missing one shoe.

That day, while I was forced to physically let go of him, I discovered his birth daughter on Facebook, who he had never personally met, and I had only heard of her through her first name, Marcie. I saw her writing to him and I just knew it was her so I friend requested her and the rest is history.

In a nanosecond, our lives were changed forever more, in a very supportive and meaningful way. As he was leaving this world, he left me a precious gift of family, like nothing I could have ever expected or imagined. Rebirth, death and transformation all rolled up into one.
A powerful Pluto message.

We can all complain about social media and specifically how much time is sucked out from Facebook and other sites but I will be forever grateful that I lived in a time where I could miraculously meet and discover a part of my blood family that I never expected to find, especially online. Sometimes the Universe is just un-frickin-believable.

On the day Jack drowned, my natal chart was being lit up by several challenging planetary aspects.

The most profound was my natal Venus in Cancer being exactly opposed by Pluto in Capricorn, which was squaring Uranus in Aries. I know this is a huge mouthful to digest and swallow, so let me try to put this in layman terms:

·      An opposition means challenging times and in a circle, it’s approximately 180 degrees apart. The 2 planets opposing each other are struggling to get along.

·      Venus in Cancer symbolizes relationships, friends, family and/or home life.

·      Pluto in Capricorn symbolizes death, rebirth and transformation. It’s intense, powerful, penetrating energy. Hold onto your hats kind of intensity. It’s that winter feeling. There are rewarding outcomes if you have the tenacity to follow through to the (probable) bitter end.

·      Any square brings tension, stress and energy to blow through the other side so you don’t have to feel this anymore.

·      Uranus in Aries signifies something suddenly happening that you never see coming. And that something may be accidents, stress, drama and trauma. Think earthquakes and lightening bolts. Kaboom!

And to a slightly lessor degree, you can also see above:

*The Sun in exact aspect to the North and South node of the Moon, indicating something is happening relating to past-life karma and attempting to heal it.
*Moon in Aquarius conjunct Mars. (Sudden family accidents, stress or trauma)
*Moon in Aquarius opposes Jupiter and a little bit of Pluto too. (Sudden family issues appear huge and significant and are transformational.)
*Neptune in Aquarius opposes Pluto. Sudden spiritual awakening is produced after a transformational experience.

After writing this, I realize these are anything but "slightly lessor degrees." haha

All the aspects were percolating to the surface of my life and asking me to answer some significant questions:
Namely, what have I been stuffing down and sweeping under the rug in order to try to ignore? What is just now coming to the surface to be processed, ready or not?
Would you prefer breakthroughs or breakdowns, you pick!
Where do I feel wounded and what am I planning to do about it?
What needs clearing that is no longer working for me?
Since everything is shifting underfoot, how can I feel secure and confident in spite of my perception of a shaky foundation?

What I decided to do was to sit quietly and ask myself what turned out to be 6 pages of questions. Such as:

*What has stopped me from moving forward in life to achieve my desires and goals?

*What has affected my self-confidence and what should I do to fix it?

*What wounds were in place with my sibling and how do I heal this now that he’s gone?

*What troubles persist in my family and home life?

*What do I need to do to heal any issues in my marriage?

*What attention does my career need, in order to flourish?

What I came up with were 4 different answers:

1.    Forgive myself, I’m only human.

2.    Forgive someone else, they are only human.

3.    Let it go, I should have done this a solid 10 years ago!

4.    Talk to the person, to be able to heal my karma and move forward.

Those were the gist of the answers.
I did some ceremonies for numbers 1-3. I wrote down who to forgive and why and what I should let go of. Then I burned it in my fireplace to release it.
To heal number 4, I went to a handful of people and talked to them about the issues I could not deal with through numbers 1-3.

I swear after I did this, I felt lighter, more sensitive and was now emotionally mending.
I felt blown wide open and it took me around 4 months to feel regenerated and free.

I was now open for business, meaning that the cells in my body were readying themselves to embrace energies I chose and people that were in my direct line of intention to meet and hang out with.

I was using the planetary energies to shift myself into a higher consciousness instead of living passively in my life purpose.

Although it’s still VERY sad to me that my brother died, without this serious drama and trauma, I would not be the same person that I am today.

So for this, I’m very grateful.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Blessings of light,

~Monica

Gemini Season

"Gemini's are sunshine mixed with a little hurricane." 

This might be my favorite Gemini quote of all time, and it is, oh so true...

Gemini season, in the northern hemisphere, happens when spring is at the height of the season. Trees and plants are fully budding out. The sun is shining brightly but it's still green as you look all around you. You can just feel the intense vitality flowing freely on the earth and inside your cells. 

So much attention and action is happening, that it is sometimes hard to keep up with it all.

That is the feeling you get when you spend any amount of time with a Gemini doing their highest calling. Just try to keep up with their intellect, their new ideas, their curiosity and their laughter. Fun, fun, fun is addicting and Gemini's typically do not have a depletion of fun. The way they look at life is anything but boring. Staying open-minded is the key to their sanity and they can always see both sides of any issue and shift their opinion between first and fifth gear.

I have many dear friends who are all in, on the Gemini front and one of their favorite lines is: "If I were the devil's advocate, I would say...", which I have to admit, I love about them. I value someone talking with me honestly and openly and any feedback they deliver, be it contrary to how I feel or not, is worthwhile for me to digest. 

Gemini says, I THINK, and is always searching for experiences with mental stimulation. They typically age well as they possess the ability to have youthful exuberance, no matter how old they physically are. But as with any blossoming young person, they are easily bored. 

So if you find yourself in relationship with a Gemini, be willing to experience a fast paced communication style. Know that Gemini's thrive on meeting new people, going to new places and having new experiences.

In astrology, we say that a person has particular traits. But honestly, we are not born, knowing how to do our Sun signs perfectly. We arrive here with a mission statement and for Gemini's, it looks something like this: In order to stay sane and to feel like my true self, I must learn how to be open, perceptive, communicative, inventive, creative and curious. Curiosity does not kill the cat when it relates to me. I must acknowledge that because I am inquisitive about many things, I must not get too distracted, must not be too restless and impatient and must not be too critical of others. I must stay on task.

When Gemini's do too much and don't take care to learn how to calm down, and are so busy that it feels out of control, their tendency is to breakdown in their nervous system. To stay in alignment and balance, Gemini's must stay vigilant about caring for their physical body as their tendency is over caring for their mind and ideas, as well as over-thinking and over-doing it.

Gemini's can help their immune systems and nervous systems by staying on top of their B vitamins. B vitamins benefit nervous system health and promote relaxation and rejuvenation within the cells. 

Why might someone come into this world as a Gemini? Perhaps they have brought with them the tendency to make snap judgment opinions that they were not willing to change? Perhaps they need to learn not to believe everything they think? Perhaps it's time to appreciate diversity in all creatures, great and small? 

Gemini's can heal the karma of the past, by gathering information, learn how to change their minds, and be willing to see each person's perception and be okay with that. To promote research for the sake of learning and to be mutable to the convictions of self and others.

"I'm a Gemini, so I change my mind every day." ~Natalie Portman

Lost In Space- Neptune in Challenging Aspect to the Moon

Lost. Adrift. Disoriented. Vanished. Off course. Distracted. At sea. Disappeared. Unobservant... All words to signal that something or someone is gone.

A few days ago, I arrived in Alaska, to begin my two month summer job. The day I arrived, found our community here in a state of anxiety, followed by deep sadness.
During the third salmon opener, a veteran fisherman is believed to have fell out of his boat, during a particularly nasty storm. He drowned, and his boat was recovered and towed back to town. Pretty devastating for his family and his community of loved ones, to say the least.

On the same day, another fisherman lost his boat that capsized in an unforgiving wave but thankfully he was rescued and lived to tell his story.

Then yesterday while our friends were taking our older, beloved dog on a bike riding adventure, she became lost. After what amounted to an all hands on deck attitude to find her, she was found several hours later. Thank you friends! But not before all neighbors were called and lost dog posters were put up.

And earlier this month, our daughter discovered the hard way that Australia immigration is not fooling around when they ask for forms to be sent to them in the right order as they denied her visa application and kept the money that was invested in it. I guess starting over is her new friend now.

All of these experiences that I share above, have one astrological thing in common; they happened when the Moon was making a challenging aspect to the planet Neptune. What the Moon and Neptune share is their devotion to the unconscious. They are here to help us step outside our physical body to feel what it is like and to be okay with being a bit unrealistic. This is their job description and as a species, we definitely need a break from reality sometimes. To just be creative, imagine another path, and dream of a better future. Or simply to just breathe and nurture ourselves and loved ones. Or to zone out watching a favorite movie. This is the high octave of these two but there is also a shadow. 

The shadow is unfocused, being careless, daydreaming to the point of being too distracted or acting like a space cadet. My dog felt it, we felt it and perhaps those fishermen felt it too. 

The beauty of astrology is having the ability to see what potential energies are coming down the pike for you or your loved ones. It allows you to make a plan. To use your free will to the best of your intention with what you have to work with. When you have an understanding that this could potentially be a few weeks of spaciness, you can talk yourself into paying closer attention!

Once 25 years ago, we were told by our astrologer, Betty, that for the next 10 days we were to pay close attention, especially while driving. One night, we were driving home on a rural road on a black, black night, when I saw one little tiny flicker of light ahead. Just a quick flash, then it was gone again. I slowed our car down from 65 mph to 20, only to barely miss, by a millimeter, a 2000+ pound black bull in the middle of the road. As I passed it, I saw the white's of its eyes, we were that close. And I thanked our lucky stars, and Betty, for that timely advice.

How have you been feeling this month? Have you had any close calls or times when you could not focus well or felt disoriented?

I'm sending you energy this month of peace, balance and concentration as you move forward.